You, broke: straight up shipping spider ham and spider noir
Me, woke: in spider noir’s universe he falls in love with a radio host he saved who looks suspiciously like John Mulaney
JM:

spider noir, tearing up, already thinking about the reception venue for their wedding: i
JM upon meeting a talking pig who sounds suspiciously like him:

it gets even better when you realize “JM” is just “MJ” reversed… he really is noir’s mary-jane




